O is for Opshop

An opshop is the Australian equivalent of a charity shop, and in Melbourne there is an absolute abundance of the little beauties. My local opshop serenades the senses to the max... no less so when the local homeless folk decide to park themselves on the sofas and pop a VHS on the telly, all of which are up for sale of course. Not to mention The Beatles background noise, only noticeable when you realise you've been humming 'Yellow Submarine' all day. 

Here are some of the marvelous offerings at my local opshop… A broken ironing board and some sort of granny transportation device. Perhaps, indicative of the socioeconomic standings in the St Kilda area… I’m sure there’s a used syringe on the floor there too.

N is for No Worries

The attitude Australians adopt towards worrying really is quite endearing. Now, if the response you get to every single statement/ apology/ offensive slant from an Ozzy is to be taken literally then I really have no reason to worry whatsoever. Thank you Australia.

M is for Money

The money here is made of a strange plastic material, which is wonderful... for surfers. Now, as I have already clarified, I am no surfer. So as far as I can see I reap none of the benefits associated with waterproof money.

I have however, fallen victim to one of the major drawbacks of plastic money. A curious characteristic of which is its slippery surface. This means, that if you have a note in your pocket it'll slip and slither around until it's free of its material confines. Then suddenly you find yourself having one of those 'I'm sure i had a tenner in my pocket?' moments. Yes! yes you did... but the fucker slipped out of your pocket when you weren't looking!. On the upside, somebody else is benefiting, I have unwillingly become a charitable person. I like to think my charity of choice is the Midget Circus Performers Rescue Operation (McPRO for short)*.

* yes i am lying.